How do I know what stim works for me?
This is a question that is often asked during a session. A lot of times stimming comes very naturally and our body automatically knows what to do. But for some of us, it’s a little more difficult. One reason could be if you’re a late-diagnosed autistic and you grew up masking to survive and fit in…then the natural ways of stimming were most likely shamed out of you or you were simply told to stop it.
Stims are natural behaviors which allow for one to cope, whether it’s coping in a negative situation, or coping in a high sensory moment, or simply self-soothing while reading a book or watching a movie.
Try to think back when you were a kid, and it felt good or natural to make popping noises with your lips, maybe you loved to tap things like the end of your pencil, or moved randomly like tapping your foot, shaking your hands, bouncing your leg, rocking, twirling hair. Maybe you only had one stim, and that stim felt good for all emotions, like anxiety, scared, or nervous. And don’t forget about the happy stims of laughing “too loud” or jumping and bouncing when you got excited and were told to calm down.
There are so many ways a late-diagnosed autistic experienced shame and embarrassment as young children, and of course we stopped and suppressed our behaviors and emotions. Perhaps, at one point you were labeled stoic, reserved, or flat. Which only added to our confusion and why we often thought “Jeez, it’s always too much or not enough!” or “Why is this so hard for me to act ‘normal’?”. If any of this rings true for you, I’m sorry you had to go through childhood, adolescence and too much of adulthood masking your stims. Learning the importance of stimming and feeding your sensory diet is one of the most important concepts I address in therapy or life coaching.
-Payton